Archive for the ‘Choice’ Category

Sea shell weed IMG_5141     I’ve been thinking for the last few days about how I feel regarding the mass shooting in Orlando. And I’m heartsick. I am heartsick that this guy who had been interviewed twice by the FBI and had been on the terrorist watch list, was able to go into a gun store and easily buy an AR-15. I’m heartsick that this man thinks it’s okay to go into a bar and execute 49 people and wound another 53 more because of his warped sense of God. I honestly don’t want to bring God into this because God had nothing to do with it. This person took it upon himself to bring judgment down on innocent people because he disapproved of their lifestyle. Period. And I’m angry.
I have many friends. And they run the gamut between straight, gay, and transgender. I refuse to discriminate against any of them, for any reason, what-so-ever. Each and everyone of them bring me joy in one way or another. And I like to think I do the same for them. Each and everyone of them have drawn me into their lives in a moment of time that has been good, really good. I’ve learned from them… laughed, cried, shared anger and have just been plain happy. My LGBTQ friends have always treated me with love and respect. And when the chips were down and I was having a tough time, they were there for me. And I am eternally grateful.
I don’t care who my friends love. I only care that they love and ARE loved, they are respected, and cared for.
Someone once said to me that I shouldn’t hang out with gay people, that I should only befriend straight people. I think that person was worried that I would somehow become gay and they worried about my soul. Here’s what that person doesn’t understand, no one becomes gay simply by hanging out with someone who is. No one is transgender simply because they wake up one day and decide they don’t like being male or female anymore. You are either born LGBTQ or you’re not. And for those born LGBTQ, their choice to come out or change their anatomy is incredibly hard, gut wrenching and damn difficult. Because doing so is dangerous and can get you killed. In my opinion, that sucks! And I think LGBTQ folk are incredibly brave… braver than most straights or cisgender.
Being your authentic self and living your truth should never, ever be a choice between life and death.
I believe God put each of us on this planet to love and be loved, and to learn from each other. It is impossible for us to really know what someone else’s path is because we are too busy walking our own. The path that is right for me, most likely will not be right for you. And unless we are willing to stop and listen to one another with an open heart, a little compassion and empathy, we will never be able to understand each other. Now, instead of judging each other, let’s try and have a little understanding.

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All you need is love-02410 smI awoke this morning to the sounds of light drizzle in the air. Softness abounds. I thank the heavens for my life, for giving me this time of transition and for loving me so very much.

I have come to realize that the most important thing for me is to live in Love. To let fear fall to the wayside, to shed it like the second skin it has become. I don’t need this fear anymore…it doesn’t serve me and never has.

Love is the antidote…

I heard someone say once before…”Love is the antidote that leaves the cloak of fear behind.” Truth has never been spoken so reverently and loudly.

Today I state to God and everybody… Love is the truth, Love is the answer, Love is what will bring us through our most difficult times. And this is what I want in my life. Love.

To live a most fulfilling life of Love, what more is there?

For me, what is important to remember is that life is a circle. What do we want to perpetuate in our circle? The viciousness of fear or the warm embrace of Love? I choose Love.

Now is the time to let the cloak of fear fall from my shoulders and embrace the Love that surrounds us each and every day in every way.

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The other night I went to bed early around 8:30, I was tired. And I wanted to read a book.

I like to read before going to sleep and a lot of the time, I read on my iPad. The only problem is it’s a little heavy and it’s electronic and I tend to stay up later with electronics. They seduce me. While I love to read books on my iPad, I’ve noticed that I don’t read them as much as I would a “normal” book. With my iPad, there’s too much temptation to check my email, Facebook, read blogs, play games or any myriad of other things I do on it.

Sometimes, I just want to read a book. It’s kinda like Freud said, “sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Well in my case, sometimes I just need to read an actual hard or soft cover book, feel the paper against my fingers, smell the newness or musty oldness. If it’s a new book, there is something quite satisfying about being the first one to crack it open. I love to turn the pages, hear the crinkle and switch as my fingers brush against the paper.

It’s not like that on an electronic device, be it my trusty iPad or someone else’s Kindle. I notice my eyes don’t hurt and water as much when I’m just reading a plain old book. And I gotta say, a book doesn’t hurt when it falls flat on my face as I’m falling asleep reading.

So now, I’m interested, is anyone else out there feeling the need to read a real paper book instead of their electronics? What is it that you find most satisfying? And most importantly, what are you reading?

Currently I’m reading, Paris to the Moon by Adam Gopnik. And I’m just truly enjoying the whole experience. If you want to check it out, here’s the link to Amazon. http://www.amazon.com/Paris-Moon-Adam-Gopnik/dp/product-description/0375758232

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ImageI’ve been sick and all I could think about were these really cool posts I was playing through my head. There were political rants (a couple actually escaped with a great adversary), basic insights into myself and then there were some that brought joy to my heart. After writing these monumental bits in my head, I heard in a large booming voice, “Oh no, we can’t write about THAT!?!” To which, I then watched as those beautiful words swirled their way down the toilet in my head. Sadness would fill my heart.

Alas, why do we DO that? I mean really!

My one saving grace is, I managed to raise my head up from my pillow long enough to… actually shoot… some really cool macro shots. Imagine that? I couldn’t believe it. Somehow I managed to create beauty and still be sick at the same time, damn!

And that, my friends, makes me feel much better.

To see what else I shot, head on over to http://www.benjiearts.com

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Today is the last day of an old year moving into a new one… 2011 leaves us and 2012 begins.

I’ve been fascinated by the doomsayers looking at the Mayan calendar and it makes me wonder if they have forgotten the significance of a circle? They are never ending, no beginning and no end.

I used to be afraid when I heard people speak of the end of the world, when they tied it to an ancient calendar, that really gave me the heebie geebies! The more I thought about it, the more I realized they didn’t allow the significance of the shape of the Mayan calendar, as all aspects have meaning.

2012 is a new beginning. But not just any new beginning, this is a year like no other, a very powerful time in our lives, full of trials, tribulations and changes… great changes. The choices and decisions we make in this year will not only affect our lives but also the lives of everyone on the planet.

This year is about creating the world we wish to live in and asking ourselves those deep, heartfelt questions… Is this how I want my life to be? Do I want to live in fear and anger, for my children and grandchilden to live that way too? Or do I want to create a world of love, compassion and empathy for myself and others?

Think about it, we do have the ability to make change and to affect change, no matter how small or insignificant we think our contribution is. After all, it only takes a snowflake to begin an avalanche!

This year, I choose to look into the deeper levels of my choices. Instead of choosing willy-nilly based on the fear others want me to feel, I will look deeper and peel away the layers of what really lies underneath, then choose. That is the beauty of freedom, it allows us to make choices based on knowledge and understanding. And with knowledge, comes power.

So, if someone is trying to tell you a fear story, reject the fear and look deeper into what is causing the fear, that is where the light shines brightest. Feeling fear and walking through it anyway is what allows us all to make wise choices as we go into this new beginning of the Mayan calendar.

May you have a very beautiful, creative and light filled year!

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