I’ve been fascinated by the doomsayers looking at the Mayan calendar and it makes me wonder if they have forgotten the significance of a circle? They are never ending, no beginning and no end.

I used to be afraid when I heard people speak of the end of the world, when they tied it to an ancient calendar, that really gave me the heebie geebies! The more I thought about it, the more I realized they didn’t allow the significance of the shape of the Mayan calendar, as all aspects have meaning.

2012 is a new beginning. But not just any new beginning, this is a year like no other, a very powerful time in our lives, full of trials, tribulations and changes… great changes. The choices and decisions we make in this year will not only affect our lives but also the lives of everyone on the planet.

This year is about creating the world we wish to live in and asking ourselves those deep, heartfelt questions… Is this how I want my life to be? Do I want to live in fear and anger, for my children and grandchilden to live that way too? Or do I want to create a world of love, compassion and empathy for myself and others?

Think about it, we do have the ability to make change and to affect change, no matter how small or insignificant we think our contribution is. After all, it only takes a snowflake to begin an avalanche!

This year, I choose to look into the deeper levels of my choices. Instead of choosing willy-nilly based on the fear others want me to feel, I will look deeper and peel away the layers of what really lies underneath, then choose. That is the beauty of freedom, it allows us to make choices based on knowledge and understanding. And with knowledge, comes power.

So, if someone is trying to tell you a fear story, reject the fear and look deeper into what is causing the fear, that is where the light shines brightest. Feeling fear and walking through it anyway is what allows us all to make wise choices as we go into this new beginning of the Mayan calendar.

May you have a very beautiful, creative and light filled year!

Personally, I think I’m in the middle of an awakening. And not one of those awakenings that affect only one aspect of my life. It’s as if I have many areas waking up at the same time and they are all dependent on each other. This awakening is allowing me to know that the act of creating matters, allowing me to create and re-create what is important no matter what “it” looks like. And allow my dreams to manifest in beautiful waves of unbounding love and creativity.

I must admit, I’ve been procrastinating or at least waiting. I’ve allowed those “if only’s” and “others can do it better” to control various parts of my life. And now the only question I can ask myself is, if not now…when?

So with that question in mind, I have created a website for myself of my photography. I’ll be adding my portfolio of design work, paintings, jewelry and whatever else I choose to create over time. The link for my website is www.benjiearts.com. Enjoy and if you like something enough to buy it…go for it.

I’ve discovered that healing can take many forms, even though at first we don’t see it coming. You know, one of those moments that doesn’t look like it could be healing what-so-ever and we didn’t see coming. I recently discovered a side of my mother I never knew existed, a side of her that I had dreamed of meeting. I met the soft, cute, sweet side of my mom…perhaps the person she was as a young girl. I had always wondered what she might have been like.

My mom had a stroke a few months ago and I spent time helping her and my dad through the first couple months of her recovery. I spent a lot of time in the rehab center/nursing home, giving my father someone to lean on and help out, and my mom an active advocate. Every time my father and I had to make a choice regarding her care, I would ask, “if I were the one in that bed, what would my mom do?” The answer was always there.

I got to meet some amazing people in the nursing home, both patients and staff. I watched the nurses and CNA’s work crazy, long hours doing their best to help each and every patient with dignity and very little thanks from anyone.  I saw nurses who showed great love and caring, who felt the patients were theirs alone to care for. And I fell in love with the patients…a hug and a smile go a long way here. I’ll be visiting this winter when I go home for Christmas, for sure.

Part of me wants to send my Mom a thank you note thanking her for a delightful summer of growth. If it hadn’t been for my mom’s stroke, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to spend most of the summer with she and my dad. I wouldn’t have had an opportunity to reconnect with friends who are dear to my heart and spend precious time with my sisters as we gave each other much needed emotional support. And I definitely wouldn’t have had an opportunity to laugh until I cried with my mom, read her funny stories and help her relearn the things we all take for granted.

I never knew a stroke could offer such healing and blessings. Thanks Mom!

I got a great compliment the other day from Antonette, the founder of So Others May Eat. She told me the Grandmas like having me shoot pictures of them. They have finally accepted me.

You see, some cultures believe that if a photo is taken of them, their soul has been stolen. Millions of people around the world believe this, and some of the Grandmas and grandpas believe it. To you and I, that sounds like crazy talk. But to some of the older Grandmas it’s very real. There have been times when people have taken pictures and some of them have died shortly thereafter.

I’ve been taking pictures of them for the last 4 years and have fallen in love. We joke around, laugh and just generally have fun. If they notice I’m pointing my camera and don’t want their pictured taken, they either cover their face or turn around. I respect their wishes and move away.

Some of my friends like having their picture taken and will even ask me to shoot them. I do like that. I never know who will ask and sometimes I’m surprised. They are so beautiful in their innocence and joy, their love and reverence.

I’ve been lucky…no one died. Which means, I’m not a soul stealer.

To learn more about this worthwhile program or to add your support for the Grandma’s and Grandpa’s of San Miguel de Allende go to www.soothersmayeatmexico.org/

He was a barefoot walkin’ wonderer, painter, yogi, healer and one of the most wonderful people I have ever met.

He walked into our lives about 6 years ago. From the first time he and my husband met, it was clear they were going to be fast friends. Within a week he was house sitting for us while we took a much needed trip. When we came back our animals were in love.

I always called Gershon the “barefoot wander”. The only time I ever saw him wear shoes was when we went out to dinner or a movie. He later told me he only wore shoes in airports or restaurants because, “he had too.” He said he quit wearing shoes, I think, 40 years ago…I was astounded. The weather didn’t matter…rain, snow, sleet, searing heat…he didn’t care. His callouses were thick enough to handle everything except broken glass. He hated broken glass, who can blame him? For the record, when he did wear shoes, they were always those little black chinese shoes you see in China towns everywhere.

Gershon had wanderlust in his heart…lived the life of a wanderer and loved to travel. From my understanding he didn’t live for more than a few years in any one place. He traveled the whole continental United States, spent time in India, Hawaii, Mexico, probably more places than I will ever know.

Whenever he landed, he painted. He painted til he filled all of the walls in his space, then he knew it was time to pack up and wander out into the world again.

When he lived in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico, he had a tiny place with a beautiful garden. He would sit outside under the shade of the trees and paint. When finally he went to India for the last time, he left all of his paintings to be sold to help feed the beggar Grandma’s and Grandpa’s. Did I mention he had a heart of gold? The grandma’s and grandpa’s were dear to Gershon’s heart. Every Christmas while he was here, he would help hand out sweaters, blankets…whatever was available for them. He took great pleasure in that.

Gershon practiced yoga everyday, especially the Breath of Fire, I’m convinced it’s what kept him alive. You see, Gershons’ blood vessels around his heart were closing. He needed a by-pass and had needed one for a while. The doctors couldn’t understand how he was getting oxygen to his brain. But I know…it was the Breath of Fire. Do that 50 times each day and you’re sure to get much needed oxygen.

He was also a healer using massage or watsu. His massages would last at least 3 hours! Those of us who were lucky enough to work with him would say, “he doesn’t just massage the body, he rearranges the molecules!” I know that his work was special, his hands were gifted and he helped create a deep healing for everyone he worked with.

We are going to miss Gershon. He is and was a very special human…one of those special people that touch your life and forever leaves it changed.

From the very beginning, I was clear that it had to have a goddess in it. Something about that felt so right. This is one of the few times in my life where I let my creativity flow, not stopping to second guess. Well…maybe not too much at least.

I found an old heart-shaped candy box someone had given me years ago and painted both the inside of the box and my heart gold. Then I found a goddess I really liked, created a pattern and made her out of polymer clay. I was really enjoying the process.

As I was putting the final touches on my heart last night, I had a sudden realization…I have 3 very dear women friends with cancer, 2 female cousins with cancer and another cousin who passed away last year from the same disease. I was floored by that number! It brought home to me how precious life is and that everyday is a gift.

As a result, I wanted to share this with you and ask that if you have the opportunity, do something to give back. And if you find it within your heart, do something for Hospice. They do such good work and I’m grateful they exist to assist families in times of crisis.

For information about Hospice, go to http://www.hospicefoundation.org/

So this year, I decided to do something a little different. I wanted to come up with something that I could actually stick to, something that would help me be more aware of what I needed and wanted for myself. I’ve decided that my resolution is going to be to practice self-care in all it’s forms. To be aware of creating self-care for myself. Okay, I know it sounds hokey but, if I can’t figure out what I need in the care and maintenance of me, then act on it, who will?

So, I’m contemplating what self-care actually means. And I’m noticing, it gives me lots of room to maneuver, lots of areas where I can make things better for myself. Let’s just say, it’s making me more aware of what I haven’t been doing to support myself and how I can do it better. This ultimately shows me I care about who I am and what I want to be in the world.

So what does self-care look like? Well, how about taking a soak in a hot tub of water with a good book, maybe feeding myself something truly delicious that nurtures my body, taking a walk in the park, or even picking up my camera or paint brush and letting creativity flow? Those all, while being very different, fit the bill perfectly. See how easy that is? It isn’t so bad.

I don’t have to worry too much about not fulfilling my resolution. I just have to be conscious that I’m actually doing it and not forgetting myself in the care and maintenance of others. To be aware of all the ways I see what I need and fulfill that for myself. Self-care… that’s the ticket!

What feels so good about it? The smiles, the heartfelt gratitude and the love that comes through the eyes of the receiver. I’ve heard it said many times that if you’re feeling depressed and your thoughts are running away with themselves in your head, get out and help somebody who’s troubles are bigger than your own. Let their problems take precedence over yours.

Okay, you’re probably wondering where I’m going with this… we’ve been collecting sweaters for more than a month now from people around town. Everybody has them… sweaters you don’t wear anymore that are just taking up space in your closet. Some friends of mine and I gave those used sweaters to the elderly and poor grandma’s and grandpa’s in our town. They were so beautiful and sweet, grateful and full of joy. I loved the smiles on their faces… absolutely precious!

My friends and I do this to help an organization called So Others May Eat (SOME). They are dedicated to helping the elderly and poor beggar grandma and grandpa’s in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. Antonette who runs SOME, feeds them a hot meal once a week, cares for them when they are sick and helps bury them when they pass. She has volunteers come and work as waitresses and waiters… some of us give her cases of refried beans to give them (a grandma can eat for 2 or 3 days if she has a can of refrieds and 5 pesos for tortillas). Here’s the link if you want to know more about SOME (http://www.soothersmayeatmexico.org/).

So here’s my suggestion and challenge to you dear reader. Look through your closet, drawers and cabinets… find those things that are only taking up space that someone else could use and gift it to them. If you don’t know anyone, take the items to your local Salvation Army or charity. Someone out there can use that stuff and it will help you feel lighter, happier. Then, volunteer for a day or two and see for yourself how wonderful it feels to give. You will be surprised to find the love and joy that can put a spring in your step. Click to view slideshow.

the joy of laughing with my husband.
Tender moments spent being present with each other
Spooning on cold nights into the morning
Loving.

Love is…
knowing my family loves me even though we don’t always agree
Hearing my mother call me “Sugar foot”
Walking the family farm with my Dad
Spending time with my sisters

Love is…
the camaraderie I feel with my friends no matter how close or far apart we live
Sharing joys, hurts, and a shoulder when needed
And laughing… oh the laughter especially!

Love is…
Loosing myself in my photography, painting, making stuff or just being
Allowing creativity to flow, whether I like what I’m doing or not
(it always comes out in the end)
Expressing myself

Love is being myself and loving who I am even though it’s not always easy.